


Kotoba wa Iwanaide oku (Unspoken words)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secrets, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:51:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15020042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “Hi, Yama-chan.” he told him, staring at him. “Come on in... what’s happened?”“I'm so sorry I woke you up, but... I didn’t know where to go.”





	Kotoba wa Iwanaide oku (Unspoken words)

It was early Saturday morning.

Arioka had woke up startled, hearing the doorbell ringing. .

He sat up and kept still for a moment, confused.

He was starting to believe he had just dreamt it, and he was about to go back to sleep when he heard it again.

Making a disappointed groan he got up to go to the door; he checked from the peephole, and when he realized who it was he frowned.

He quickly opened the door, and found in front of him Yamada, panting.

“Hi, Dai-chan.” he said, his voice shaky, and Daiki realized just then that his eyes were reddened, a sign that he had most certainly cried.

He moved from the door and let him in, worried.

“Hi, Yama-chan.” he told him, staring at him. “Come on in... what’s happened?” he asked.

Ryosuke bowed his head, getting in and closing the door behind him; he took off his shoes and then smiled to Daiki, not at all in a convincing way.

“I'm so sorry I woke you up, but... I didn’t know where to go.” he said, without answering his question.

The elder frowned, leading the way to the kitchen.

“I’m making breakfast, do you want something?” he asked, while the other sat at the table.

“No, thanks. I'm... I'm not particularly hungry.” he replied, his voice feeble.

Daiki started making coffee, while he thought about what to do.

Yamada wasn’t one to arrive unannounced at other people’s homes; and he wasn’t one to ask for help, no matter how bad he needed it.

He knew he wasn’t going to talk so easily, and he wondered what exactly had brought him there. He didn’t know how to react, what the right thing to do was.

When the coffee was ready he poured himself some, sitting in front of him.

“What about breakfast?” Yamada asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Forget about breakfast, I'm not that hungry.” he cut it short. “Feel like telling me what’s happened?” he asked, his voice meaning to be reassuring.

The younger bit his lip, averting his eyes.

“I went to Yuri this morning.” he murmured, and finally Arioka understood.

Since he could remember, Chinen and Yamada had always had a very peculiar relationship.

Despite his appearance, Yuri was rarely an easy person to deal with. 

And Yamada had always endured it all: his tantrums, his crisis, his bad moods... Daiki had always thought he was basically the only one who could actually be so patient with him.

Then, less than a year before, Ryosuke had told him he was in love with Chinen.

Arioka remembered he had turned up his nose and had told him he was going to end up getting hurt, that it wasn’t going to be easy.

But he knew his words were useless; and not because Yamada didn’t listen to him, but only because, Daiki knew it all too well, one couldn’t simply stop loving someone.

“What did he say?” he asked, feeling protective all of a sudden.

The other sighed, biting his lip and trying not to cry.

“I... I told him how I feel about him.” he whispered, trying to cling onto something on the smooth surface of the table. “And he...”he didn’t go on. He took his face in his hands, and he couldn’t stop the tears anymore.

Arioka was floored.

He had never seen Yamada cry.

He wished he could’ve done something to make him feel better, but he didn’t know what the right thing to do was.

And so he got close to him, bringing an arm around his shoulders and resting his head against his temple, slowly caressing his back, because all he could do right now was to let him feel he was there for him.

It took Ryosuke a few minutes to calm down enough to start talking again; Daiki handed him a tissue, barely managing to keep away from him, to overcome the instinct of being close to him, of protecting him.

He saw him dry his eyes, and waited for him to explain.

“He said there never will be something. That it’s all fan service, that I’ve deluded myself because of it. And that... he could never feel the way I do.” he said, frowning.

Daiki looked at him, his eyes wide open. He suddenly wanted to get out, go at Chinen’s place and strangle him with his bare hands, and perhaps he would've done just that if Yamada hadn't needed him right now.

“I told you you were going to get hurt.” he whispered, more to himself than to the younger.

Ryosuke raised his eyes toward him; he scoffed and shook his head, a bitter smile on his face.

“I'm sorry I didn’t listen.” he said, shrugging. He put his hands down on his knees, making as to get up. “I'm sorry I came here all of a sudden, but... really, I didn’t know where to go and I thought about you.” he explained, then he lowered his eyes, blushing a little. “You’re always there for me, Daiki. Thank you.” he whispered.

The elder smiled, getting up as well and hugging him.

“You don’t have to thank me. I'm glad you think about me, at times like these. You’re my friend, and I just wish I could do more to help.” he said, his mouth close to his ear.

When they parted, he saw Yamada smile; it was stretched, but it was enough to make him feel lighter.

“I better go now; I didn’t get much sleep tonight, and I better take advantage of the fact that I don’t have to work this morning and get some rest.” he told him then, fixing himself up and walking toward the entrance, but Arioka stopped him, grabbing his wrist.

“I’ve got nothing to do either. If you want to, you can stay here, if you don’t want to go back home alone.” he offered, pointing at the bedroom.

The smile Yamada gave him now wasn’t stretched anymore, it was bright.

“Thank you, Dai-chan.” he said, changing direction and heading toward the bedroom. “Can you wake me up in a couple of hours?” he asked, while the other went to the kitchen again.

“Of course.” he promised.

“Dai-chan?” he heard him call, and he stopped to turn toward him.

“What?” he asked, looking straight into his eyes and seeing him blush.

“I'm glad you’re my friend.” Yamada murmured, and then he rushed inside the bedroom, looking incredibly tired.

Daiki didn’t say anything, there was no need to.

He went back to the kitchen, determined to eat something.

He didn’t know how to feel.

The wish to hurt Chinen just like he had hurt Yamada was strong, but again he told himself there was nothing he could’ve done, that he should’ve have meddled, that he should’ve let things follow their flow.

The image of Ryosuke crying, the pain on his face, kept tormenting him, for more than a reason.

Because he hated to see him suffer.

Because when Yamada was hurt, it was like he was hurt too.

Because he knew that that face, those tears, was what he would've faced if he had dared, if he had had the same courage the younger had into speaking his feelings out loud.

Arioka wasn’t so brave, and that pain scared him too much.

He was better accustomed to suffer the pain of loving.

In Yamada’s life there wasn’t room for him like that, and that was why he was never going to tell him he loved him.

 


End file.
